Calvin D. Jim

Where do I come from? As a Canadian of Chinese and Japanese ancestry I get that question a lot. I do not think it a rude or ignorant question. People are usually genuinely curious. They are usually shocked to find out that I was born in Montreal, Quebec (and was fluently bi-lingual until the age of six).

I am a third generation Chinese – Japanese Canadian. My parents (who were both born in Canada) married at a time when it was very “bad form” for Chinese and Japanese to date, let alone marry. Even now, their union raises eyebrows in the Asian community.

I have grown up in Canada and throughout my school years was (usually) the only non-white in my class. Others pegged me as “different” and I stood out no matter where I went. I felt very alienated and often wished that I was white. How could someone feel that they were wholly Canadian, when they were made to feel that they didn’t truly belong? Claims that not only was I born here, but my parents were born here fell on deaf ears. I looked different, so I must be different and come from somewhere else. Not here. Not Canada.

This sense of alienation followed me even into High School. At an early age I had shown promise in the fine arts such as acting, but was told by well meaning teachers that even though I could be an accomplished actor, it was unfortunate that I was Asian and there would be little or no place for me in Canada. They were not racist or trying to be mean, they were only telling me the current reality – that there was no place for me. Needless to say, I gave up on that dream.

Slowly things changed and far from being resentful about my heritage, I began to embrace it. I found strength in my cultural heritage and a sense of belonging and identity that I did not experience in my earlier life. I began actively seeking out books and literature about my heritage and found very little. I began watching movies and interacting with others in my own cultural community. This process of discovery allowed me to grow, change and mature.

But even here, I did not feel that I completely belonged. I did not understand the language. I only had a minimal understanding of the culture and customs. I had never been to China or Japan. I had no shared history. And since I was both of Chinese and Japanese heritage, I looked “off” to many of them. They would smile and reassure me, but behind the smile was the knowledge that I would never truly understand or be a part of that heritage.

So I felt like a person in-between. Not really part of one world because of the way I looked, and not really part of another world because I had grown up westernized. My entire adult life has been spent reconciling these feelings of alienation that I have experienced on both sides of the cultural wall. My response has been to embrace all those things that made me unique (including those parts of me that have nothing to do with my culture). I continue to embrace my ancestry and to be proud of it. To do anything less would be to deny what I see in the mirror every day. At the same time, I realize that I do not live in Asia, that I was born and raised in Canada. I do not simply “feel” that I am Canadian, I am Canadian. And being Canadian is to celebrate all those cultural identities and take strength in them.

Today, I am happily married to a woman of Chinese ancestry (she was born in Asia but raised in Canada) and we have two sons whom I will raise to be proud Canadians with all the rights and privileges that entails. I will also raise them to know where their great-grandparents came from and why it is important to retain that part of their culture – to be proud, not arrogant about that background. And all my hopes go with them that they will find a place in their lives long before I found a place in mine.

(Originally published on Sept 11, 2007)

Kintsugi, translated as “golden joinery” is a Japanese art of fixing broken pottery with special lacquer dusted with powdered gold. It gives a piece of broken pottery a unique appearance and emphasizes the fractures and breaks instead of hiding them, making the once broken pottery more beautiful than when it was whole.
This art is heavily influenced by the Japanese philosophy of wabi-sabi which sees beauty in the flawed or imperfect. It is born of a feeling of regret when something is wasted, but with an acceptance of change.
I am broken.
On June 8th, 2019, my latest blog was due. I had ideas for the subject. What I didn’t have was time. The past month has been the heaviest writing month of my writing career. There was a short story that I had to finish that was already in its third draft. There was another short story in need of revisions for an editor. There were two short story contests that I was helping to judge. There was a presentation I had to make at my local writers’ group that I did not wish to postpone. And of course, there were family obligations, recitals to attend, and a day job to do. Needless to say, I was swamped, but not burnt out. All of this got done. All except the blog post. And for that, I regret it.
I considered rushing my post for June out a few days late, but continued deadlines prevented even that. So here I am, during my personal blog letting you know my situation.
Will it happen again? I hope not. I can’t guarantee it won’t. It depends on my writing. My goal is to finish my last story revision by the end of the month and then take a short break after which I will begin one of two novel ideas I have. That will likely take to the end of the year to finish a first draft. Revisions could take a couple of months after that and then I intend to start shopping it around. By WWC in 2020 I hope to have it sold or agented at the very least. I’ll keep you all apprised of my progress.
I am broken like the Japanese pottery of old.
Repairing it won’t come with gold, or silver, or platinum. But it will come with work: blog posts that post on time, writing goals that are met.
In time, maybe the flaws and imperfections of my writing will look as beautiful as the one pictured above.

Short Story Announcement

I want to take this time to announce that one of the short stories announced above, “I Travelled the World Between,” has been accepted into the anthology Enigma Front: the Stories We Hide. This is the latest in the Enigma Front Anthology Series and it will launch this August at the When Words Collide Festival. I want to thank Chris Carolan and his crew of tireless editors and designers for launching this anthology. Congratulations on another job well done.

A Breathe In, Breathe Out Post

Comic Expo is over. The IFWA Booth was a success and my thanks go to Sandy Fitzpatrick and Gary Renshaw for organizing and manning the booth for most of the weekend. I don’t think they left the booth together at any time during the Expo (which reminds me, I have to get my last copies of Shanghai Steam back from Sandy at the next IFWA meeting). It was great meeting people who passed our booth and I got to hand out my latest promo: bookmarks. I also got to meet some artists there who might be able to help me with book covers should I ever get any of my novels self-published. I didn’t expect many sales since all of my stories are in anthologies, but I did manage to get one. I think there will be an IFWA booth next year, so stay tuned. I may show up there again.

But this year, like the other years I’ve gone, was more about family than book sales. My sons came with me on the weekend days and we had fun wandering up and down the aisles and avoiding the horrific winter weather out there (and yes, Comic Expo is in April). Because of the weather, we didn’t get outside for the outdoor events (I always like watching the martial arts demos and quidditch).

This month has been productive but frustrating at the same time. I started the month with one story to revise for editors (now it’s two). I am helping judge a short story contest at work (it is for a short story contest for junior high students) as well as with my writers’ group. Plus, I have a presentation to finish up (and one that is overdue). My novel work has taken a nosedive as a result of all these other responsibilities. I didn’t plan it this way. I thought I spaced things out well, but here we are. So, two steps forward, and a couple steps back. I figure I can get back to working on that novel once July comes along.

Part of the writing life, at least until you’ve made it as a full-time author, is trying to eke out time to write while juggling employment, family, and other activities. Every writer at the beginning of their writing life has to do this. I can’t complain. I have an embarrassment of riches. I have a supportive family who let me get away and write when I can.

My problem seems to be my “muse.” My muse doesn’t seem to want to come out and play during those times I am able to get away. I have an hour here and an hour there to get things done, but I’m usually so tired by that time, I just want to sleep. Needless to say, productivity goes to a crawl.

So that’s the question I have for all you readers out there. What do you do to ensure you are productive during your writing time? Let me know your thoughts down below.

In January, 2019, Amalie Wen Zhao author of Blood Heir, her debut YA novel, asked her publisher, Delecorte Press, not publish her novel. This was after the internet exploded when a beta reader posted a review accusing Zhao of racism and insensitivity towards black people.

She apologized for putting out a book that was “unintentionally racist” in the fact that she included the death of a black man in one scene in a book dealing with slavery in China (her place of birth).
Much has been said about this controversy and how we should respond. Some of those responses include:
a) authors should be encouraged to be sensitive, but there are no gatekeepers
b) let the market decide
c) let her fight back with the facts. She should publish and damn whatever people say.

Now this book will undoubtedly sell well when it is finally published with all the controversy it has generated. But it does pose a good question: what responsibility do we have as writers and artists to write something that is “sensitive”? Do we need sensitivity readers? Should a sensitivity reader who doesn’t like language or a specific scene be allowed to derail a book that, according to the publisher, is ready to be released? At that point in the publishing cycle, when ARCs are distributed to various reviewers, there should only be minor typos and revisions to be made.

Also, art is supposed to challenge us, to make us feel uncomfortable at times. So maybe you should be encouraged to write that book that has controversial topics in it.

As for letting the market decide, well, the market ultimately decides whether your book stays on shelves. But I don’t like the idea of the market telling me what to write. That is a form of censorship. Write what you want. And self-publish if you have to.

Be brave. If you have a book that has been well-researched, well-written and is crafted in a sensitive manner, stand your ground. But not everyone is up for fighting twitter battles every day, or monitoring trollish comments on their website.

So there is a chill in the air that this will happen again (and it has) with implications far beyond the world of YA publishing. It hits every sector of the publishing world. As long as the cancel culture exists as a hammer in the shadows waiting to clobber anyone they deem unworthy, authors will self-eliminate themselves from ever sending in a manuscript to a perspective agent or publisher. And that makes me sad.

So what can we do? What is our takeaway here?

Find sensitivity readers early. Get them to point anything that might be culturally insensitive. You don’t have to agree with them. But at least you know where your book may have problems that you need to deal with before or after publication.

Be a friendly voice on the internet. Don’t feed the trolls and speak up in defence of authors whose voices are being squashed unfairly. Many of Zhao’s earliest critics hadn’t even cracked page one of her book.

Encourage and support your favourite author, published or not. We need voices, as many as you can find. Write.

As of April 29, 2019, in an article in the New York Post, Amilie Wen Zhao has changed her mind and will publish Blood Heir later this year. I applaud this decision and her bravery and I am sure it will be successful. I think I might have to buy one on launch day.

A Breathe In, Breathe Out Post

Dave Farland has a blog about writing aptly entitled “David Farland’s Writing Tips.” He publishes it a few times a week and each one is chalk full of excellent writing wisdom. Go check it out. 

This week, he spoke about publishers limiting what writers talk about and which writers get published. Specifically, David said publishers want socially and culturally relevant topics. It is his opinion that the publishers are handling these topics with a sledgehammer and not a scalpel – taking only those writers and topics that are culturally relevant (whatever that means).

And while I am with him applauding that more socially relevant topics and writers of colour are being published, it made me wonder if that limits what I as a writer of colour will be allowed to write about.

When I began my writing journey, I wanted to write about characters who looked like me because I didn’t see enough Chinese or Japanese protagonists in works of fiction, especially genre fiction (this was a while ago. The landscape has changed). I still do this today.

Back then, I tended to write what I wanted. I set my stories wherever and whenever I felt like: present day, future, historical past, fantastic worlds. I never felt limited.

But in today’s politically charged landscape, if I continue this trend of writing main characters who have Asian backgrounds, will I be expected to write only about race or how it affects the main characters? Will I have to write deep or can I write shallow? Just to be my racial background brings with it a huge amount of baggage that I don’t necessarily want to deal with in my writing. Just putting my character’s race into the equation is a political decision. It comes with it a large number of factors that some people will be expecting me to deal with. 

I’m not a political writer. I know whatever I write will be political anyway, but I never want to be seen as being a political animal. I shy away from that kind of writing. I give props to those writers of colour who can write with such grace and precision about such maters, but I don’t think that is my calling. 

What do you think? As a writer of colour, should I be expected to comment on racial politics and how it affects my characters all the time? Is this the only relevant way for me to get published? Leave your comments below.

Personal Update

I want to thank Vivian Hansen for all the work she did putting together the University of Calgary Cafe for the Continuing Education Creative Writers. It was a great success. I also want to thank the folks at Shelf Life Books for providing such a stellar venue to showcase such great writers. I know another of my fellow IFWits is entering the Creative Writing program and I wish her all the luck. She will do great. It was also fantastic to finally meet Jude. Up until now, she has just been a voice on the phone whenever I needed to sign up for a course. It was great to finally meet her in person.

And thank you to everyone who made it out to listen to me read and gab on about the Creative Writing program. I had some great conversations with students and former students of the Creative Writing program and hope to one day see you all published.

Finally, congratulations to my friend and fellow Creative Writing Program student, Neal Debreceni (spelled that correctly, right?). The creative non-fiction story he read from, Life in the Fab Lane, was recently published in The Malahat Review, issue 205. And Neal, contrary to popular belief, signing the magazine doesn’t make it valueless, it makes it priceless. To me. 🙂 Keep writing, Neal.

Next up – Calgary Comic Expo. I will be appearing at the Calgary Comic Expo. First, I will be at a IFWA Table in Artists Row (the Big 4 Building) in Booth 5422 on Friday and some of Saturday and Sunday. Come around and say hi and pick up a bookmark. I will also be on a Panel entitled The Author’s Journey with several other IFWA members. The panel will take place on Saturday, April 27, 2019 at 3:45 pm in the Palomino Room. The seating is limited, so get there early.

In Karate, I’ve learned the importance of breathing. Not only how to breathe while practicing basics or kata (and most recently, kumite – but that is a whole other story), but also to stop, re-focus and concentrate on your breath. Breathe in through the nose, and out through the mouth. Slow down and focus.

And that’s what I want to do with this monthly, personal column. Slow down and reflect on where I’ve been, what I am accomplishing as a writer, and where I intend on going in this writer’s journey. Join me on the 22nd of each and every month and I’ll fill you in with what I am writing, how much I am doing and where I’m appearing.

Since this is the first column, there’s a lot to talk about.

First, I am working on writing a story under contract (a pure epic fantasy story), editing a story for a local publication, writing a column for another local publication and outlining a novel I hope to have finished by years end. The novel will be a cross between cyberpunk and Princess Mononoke. Hopefully the thought of that concept makes a few of you excited. Plus, I have another story that is out there right now, and I’ve been waiting to hear from the publisher as to whether it is acceptable or not.

I know, I know. Not a lot of substance. I can’t say much until announcements are made, and then I’ll announce them here. But what I am trying to say is…I’ve got a lot on the go. I’m trying to increase my daily word count and get stories done. And that’s hard when you’re juggling a busy family, a nine-to-five job, Karate (also with family), and writing. It’s not easy. And it is also part of why I’m doing this column. Accountability (For instance, this week I’ve written 2500 words – pretty well all on the C-Train). I’m letting you all know what I’m doing and I hate disappointing people. So, if you like my stories, I’ll be putting more out this year and hope to have my third novel written by years end. You’ll know if I succeed just by watching this column.

Now, back to breathing…inhale…exhale…

Tsundoku or Die!

Tsundoku or Die! is a short column in which I will highlight a book or books that you may want to consider reading or purchasing for yourself. All books I introduce here will be Asian in theme. This month, I want to introduce you to my friend Brandy Ackerley whose debut novel, will Hunter’s Gambit, has just been released. Read more below:

Kuzunoha is running out of options. In just a month she’ll be an adult but as the illegitimate younger daughter of a rich noble she can only see two possible futures. Both leave her a pawn in her elder sister’s game as family matriarch, a future as unacceptable to Kuzunoha as it is unavoidable.

That changes when Kuzunoha saves the life of a stranger. In return for her help, the stranger offers her a way to have a future that doesn’t tie her to her family. He’s heard of a forgotten treasure nearby and needs a guide to help him search for it. Her family and friends don’t trust this dangerous man’s offer, but Kuzunoha accepts, knowing that she can’t live the life her sister wants for her anymore.

Will she succeed in proving she can have a life outside of her sister’s shadow? Or will it all fall to pieces around her?

Brandy Ackerly can be found at:

Twitter: @FoxyWriter
Facebook: facebook.com/InkedFoxPress
Blog: musingaboutthewords.blogspot.ca/